The Suicide Note

Death Of A Comedian

Written By: Atelston Fitzgerald Holder 1st


Everyday i ponder the idea of suicide, Initially it was a mediocre trivial abstract thought, but its amazing how tiny insignificant fragment of thoughts can slowly erupt into an actual mainstream mental contemplation.

I’ve derived to this conclusion oblivious to the growing continuity of perpetual thoughts, its as if an abstract mental virus emanated in a subconscious automation, regardless of my logical and rational suppression. My reasons are stereotypical at best, there’s nothing unique or unorthodox about my suicidal objectives, its filled with the same disappointments, depressions and lack of motivation that most suicidal cases suffer from. Sometimes a person equates their existence with nonexistence and finds a solution, Whether rational or irrational.

Who’s to assess someone’s personal life’s decision? Ironically i’ll never suffer the consequences beyond the parameters of self assassination. Unless its a failed attempt. My despise for failed suicides is a contempt that baffles even myself, Why bicker over such an insignificant notion? Because failing such a mundane goal is the truest evidential justification for why your attempt is parallel to your self worth. I strongly believe that they truly didn’t want to die, Because suicide is probably easier than consuming water, its the conceptual aspect thats a psychological distain, The physical aspect is a quick mental encapsulating process.

PH.D Professor emailed me a few years ago and said (Quote) ‘A single one of you videos has enough information to keep a group of psychologist and psychiatrist busy for months’ (Unquote)

Interpreting this from a surface value is intriguing, But from a literal and nonliteral perspective, its a condescending attempt to throw a sarcastic blow at my work, doesn’t these buffoons see my satirical approach to humor, my juxtaposing of incompatibilities, my exploration of satire, irony and the fundamental underlying metaphors in my work? After pondering his pseudo email, i simply took his condescension as a compliment, because if i postulated to much i’d probably take it with a sense of credulity.

The world doesn’t see my acute side, i’m constantly bombarded with virtual social vehement’s that alludes me beyond cohesive comprehension, I’m seen as a cognitively deficient, socially awkward and mentally unstable by the sensationalistic masses of extroverted bigots. My humor is magnificent, far beyond the scope of these social muppets, stringed like puppets, clustered in a perpetual continuity of insignificant domino effect chains of conformity. Their inability to construct one iota of nonconformity is a profound mystery to me, they jibber and jabber in societal acceptance disregarding their free contextual freedom, and rigorously sinistering their lobbied agenda against the individualistic disparities.

I’m a pro-introvert and refuse social comradery, and my inability to interact is not conducive to a higher intellect or superiority, But it does play a significant role in my deciphering a clear distinction between subjective vs objective thinking, it allows me to plow deep within my cortextual nomadically, and its a place i solve profound problems.

My ideas are far from arbitrary, its carefully constructed and juxtaposed in all its incongruous dichotomic and partitioned state, but you mediocre mortals are to engulfed in your trivial mental detention to exercise the most simplistic of pragmatism. I don’t regurgitate from past predecessors, My thoughts ideas and system of thinking is subjectively non-influenced to the point of conceited narcissism. I must admit i find ‘Leonardo Da Vinci’ magnificent, he was indeed the all encompassing renaissance man, and not to mention Nikola Tesla.

I can embark on a never-ending autobiographical tale summarizing my life up to this initial point, but why dwell on these domestic cultural and economical shaping of my pessimistic destiny, However i do wish my work be studied by the academically credible, I hope universities and respectable institutions unravel the figurative aspect of my work, the metaphors, irony, sarcasm, satire, condescensions, personifications, puns, double entendre, lexical and syntactic ambiguity, oxymorons, paradoxes and dichotomies.

May I expound two subtle linguistic syllables within the syntactical context excluding the semantical interpretations ‘Fuck You All’

Thank You All
It was an honor, and my departure is an appreciation that defies human description…!
The End…

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Article Written By: Atelston Fitzgerald Holder 1st

Stage Name: Mr Pregnant

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Copyright 2013

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