Precious The Gorilla Pig

The Hollywood Rhinopotamus

The subtitle is a true representation of precious spherical embodiment of the earths constellation, she’s like a round giant object, a mack-truck with lipstick. Precious even permed her hair, that’s like putting weave on a Hippopotamus or a wig on a Rhinoceros. Infact, the former and latter compliment her so well, let’s just call her a hybrid. A Rhino-potamous.

Precious is indeed a Gorilla, and not just your ordinary gorilla but a gorilla in pink; that makes the gorilla exquisite, and the irony of her immaculate aesthetics, “neatly ugly.” Our pervasive nightmare of an apocalyptic world obliterated by zombies; that’s a mere introduction to encountering “precious” in the dark, and the irony is you probably wouldn’t even see the Mandingo-Zulu.

Precious make coals look white, and she’s 23 hrs passed the hourglass look, and to describe her as fat is a euphemism, more like the 80s blob. She’s like a dark-skinned African pregnant pig on steroids. That pink silk dress looks like a bed-sheet she purchased at Bed Bath & Beyond and hired an African seamstress to wrap it around her football field of a body; imagine when precious farts.

I believe Bob Marley mentioned her in one of his songs, “Buffalo Soldier,” precious nose spreads like an epidemic, and most people have nose-bridge but this mountain-moose has a walkover. Precious can probably smell curry in India, and her black glitters, that’s the hilarious part, she’s like a dark-skinned glittering well-packaged gorilla version of “Barbie-Dolls.

She’s the perfect embodiment of a sequel to “Planets of The Apes,” She’ll be like the Yoda of gorilla-land. If I ever see precious in the jungle I would not run, id simply ask her to kill me, with an added, please…! Precious looks like the monster on Sesame Street who ate the Television, but in precious case we know it’s no flat screen; more like a 27inch Dell desktop. It’s like taking a domesticated pitbull to the saloon.

I heard precious has a private-jet; really? really? that’s like a 900lbs woman wearing spandex, precious needs a private aircraft carrier, one that exports and imports oil, because she looks like a portable chunk of mercury-oil, and her dimples are ginormous, it’s as if, when she smiles her saliva excretes steroids. She’s got muscle-chuckle. (Double Chuckle).

Precious aka willy-the-whale is indeed a stranger to good-looks, and what’s truly ironic is her exquisitely exotic eyes, they’re very seducing; WAIT A MINUTE, “She doesn’t have eyes,” WTF. She’s like the mother gorge from Fraggle Rock, and If she was in the navy she would be a “seal,” get it? Pun ha ha…! Long live Precious, and as always, you look “Swell.” She’s truly “The Miss Piggy” from Zimbabwee..Oink Oink!

Share you views and opinion, please leave a comment below Article Written By: Atelston Fitzgerald Holder 1st
Stage Name: Mr Pregnant

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